2 Nov 1952 – Jack Parson’s Last Letter, Post-dated after His Death

2 Nov 52 (Note: ? Death)

C. F. Saturnus.

93

No doubt you will be delighted to hear from an adept who has undertaken the operation of his H(oly) G(aurdian) A(ngel) in accord with our traditions.
The operation began auspiciously with a chromatic display of psychosomatic symptoms and progressed rapidly to acute psychosis. The operator has alternated satisfactorily between manic hysteria and depressing melancholy stupor on approximately 40 cycles, and satisfactory progress has been maintained in social ostracism, economic collapses and mental disassociation.
These statements are mentioned not in any vainglorious spirit of conceit, but rather that they may serve as a comfort and inspiration to other aspirants on the Path.

Now I’m off to the wilds of Mexico for a period, also in pursuit of the elusive H.G.A. before winding up in the guard (room) finally via the booby hatch, the graveyard or —-? If the finem (? Latin for end. T), you can tell all the little practicuses that I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.

93 93/93 Noone. Once called 210.

(He dropped some explosive and blew himself up when waiting for Mexico. T)

29 Apr 1952 – Mention of Crossing the Abyss Operation, New Name

29 Apr 52

(1071 S Orange Grove Ave. Pasedena California)

Care Frater Saturnus,

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
The recently completed operation proved satisfactory from every standpoint, but far more exhausting than I had anticipated. However I am continuing without pause upon the rather extensive program laid out for me for the coming year, utilizing the appropriate restorative methods in recognition of my weakness.

Of that which passed it is at present fitting only that I indicate the following passage. “My name is NAG, which in the Sanskrit is serpent, and my number is 54 and 9, that is the number of the fire of obeah, and of the letter Teth, which signifies a serpent, and my number is 704, which is 11 (Note. 704 = Arbatel. Also angel L.T.N. of Pices. T) that is a number of our body, whose letter is also Teth, and this is the name I bear as I travel through the abyss seeking the womb of my lady BABALON, and this is a numeration thereof, and this is my sign that was given unto Nagaya the cobra by the Lord Buddha, for that he should tie the rest of the bond, and behold this is the name and sign taken by thee when thou camest to puberty in thy 14th year, thou (sh – sic) thou understand it in nowise”.

Teth then is the signature that I shall use in this period:
I understand that you are preparing further manuscripts of A.C. for transcription. I am most interested in obtaining copies of the Comment on Liber 65 and on the Vision and the Voice, as well as any other unpublished works which pertain to my present study.

Although my finances are rather low, I would certainly want to share in the expense of typing or printing. I would much appreciate it if you would send a list of anything which is available, together with the price.
I understand that Brother Fredrick (Mellinger. T) is now working with you. Please convey my best regards. The same to yourself and wife.

Love is the law, love under will. Fraternally

Teth (In Hebrew. T)

3 Oct 1951 – Fragment mentioning preparation of magickal ordeal

3 Oct 51

Your note was most timely and exactly to the point. It seems that this operation engenders tremendous mental and physical stresses – I should have been better prepared for something of the sort from the literature. It is the utter vulnerability of the child that comprises his power and naturally it is of that vulnerability that I (the partial ego) fear most. Well God knows what the end will be. I can only persevere in my way – the outcome is determined by something more than I am or know
(the rest is missing – Ed.)

31 Mar 1950 – Church of Thelema status

31 March 50

Care Frater Saturnus

Greetings of the Vernal Equinox.

After considerable study, thought and actual investigation in accordance with your advice, I have decided to work with 132 (W.T. Smith T) for a probationary period of the next three months. In this connection I have prepared a course of lectures which will begin in two weeks, and have memorized the Gnostic Mass, which is now ready for public performance. I am not without reservations in the matter, but it seems to me perhaps the best effort I can make in the circumstances.

At present we will be operating as the Church of Thelema, which is incorporated in California. This seems a good idea, from the standpoint of religious freedom guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution, and from the standpoint of the 15% gross income tax deduction allowed for religious donations.

Since there are so few of us, and the job is so big, I hope that we can all work together if not as members of one group, then at least in deserved mutual trust, respect and cooperation.

I called to see Jane (Wolfe. T) in regard to the Letters to Probationers, and she indicated that she is waiting to hear from you before she takes any action.
I believe that I owe you some thing for the copy of Khaled Khan and the reprints of the three sacred writings. I should also like to obtain a copy of the Book of Lies, if one is available. If you have not read it, I should like to recommend a most unusual and stimulating book by Joseph Campbell “The Hero with a Thousand Faces”. Best regards and best wishes for you and Sascha

Love is the law, love under will. Fraternally

210

11 Nov 1949 – Illness, payments, and difficulties

11 Nov 49

Care Frater Saturnus

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
The surmise in your letter of 9/24 was correct. I have been ill with bronchial pneumonia, and am now just convalescing. This has resulted in a diminution of income and increase of expenses, so that I have been hard put to it to meet my obligations. This is the reason for the delay in October and this month. During the illness I gave up my apartment, and have now moved to 768 31st Street, Manhattan Beach. My P.O. Box No 312 is the same.

You are right, it has been and will be a solitary battler until the end. Everything else is dead now except the body and the will, and it is my will that the body survive to do that will. I hope to see you during the next year, and discuss some matters that are difficult to develop in correspondence. Best wishes for yourself and the success of your (sic) the work.

Love is the law, love under will. Fraternally

210

5 Sep 1949 – Magickal debts

5 Sept 49

Care Frater Saturnus

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
I am minded of some magickal debts which I must meet before proceeding with certain matters. First I believe that there is a sum of 100 dollars due to you on two copies of the Book of Thoth. If you will verify this sum I expect to be able to pay in monthly installments of 20 dollars. Second there is a problem on which I am not clear. At one time I agreed to pay a sum of 250 dollars to a Dr. Marlowe (Louis Wilkinson. T) in England for prefacing revising and editing the Commentary on Liber Al vel Legis, sending 125 dollars in advance. I believe that Dr Marlowe is under the impression that I owe him another 125 dollars although I have never seen the revised MSS, or heard of any progress in the matter. It seems fishy to me, but if there is a magickal debt involved I must now pay it. Perhaps you know something further, and can give me your magickal advice.

Love is the law, love under will. Fraternally

210

19 Jun 1949 – Explanation of current Magickal work, personal challenges

19 June 49

Care Frater Saturnus

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Thanks for your kind and brotherly wishes for my work. I am very please to hear of your own progress…

At present I have entered magickal regions where there is no possibility of outside help or assistance. The oaths are taken, the bridges burned, and there is no possibility of turning back. I am cognizant of the dangers of my position, but hope that my wide acquaintance with physical and moral dangers in the past and my total dedication to Nuit, will see me through.

In the past three years I have taken a degree and received a license in chemical engineering, acted as safety director for two major aircraft companies, and director of a large research program. During this period I kept up an intense magickal program, recorded in detail.

In September 1948 I was suspended from all my activities on charges which included activity in the O.T.O., and the circulation of Liber Oz. Later my wife left me, and the separation involved the entrapment of most of my friends. During this period I worked as a mechanic, a filling station attendant, and an assistant in a medical hospital, finally obtaining a position on the staff of the University of California. I also finished writing my magickal thesis at this time. Later, in a closed trial, I successfully defended the principles of Liber Oz, the judgement was reversed, and I was cleared of all charges. I am now engaged in building up my chemical practice.

My interest in magick is essentially practical, it is my sole aim to bring Thelema into the working and practical sphere of the world. It has seemed to me that if I had the genius to found the jet propulsion field in the U.S., and found a multimillion dollar corporation and a world renowned research laboratory, then I should also be able to apply this genius in the magical field. The problem then was to determine and overcome the weakness that had thwarted the final fruition of any of my plans.

Constantly invoking my angel, I final (sic) received the advice that would solve the problem. It was this – to put my magical work, and my entire life, on a rigorous scientific basis, with all the detailed planning, step by step progress, isolation of individual phenomena, and limited objectives that go with scientific programming.

I am now engaged in this process. In order for a person with as many wildly variant abilities and defects as myself to understand this matter, and bring it under control, it was necessary first to know my Angel, and second to take the oaths necessary to furnish the impetus for such an impossible task. That has been done. There is no turning back, but ahead there is a long voyage, and a very lonely one. However, essentially it does not matter if it is done in this incarnation or another. I have developed the magical memory sufficiently to know that it is no new thing with me – there have been many trials and errors over a long time, but the Will is known and the end is certain. But your hunch is right – I am strained to my limit, and have no assurance as to the outcome in this life.

That is about all I can say, or will be able to say for some time. If you hear of any of my future experiments, be assured that I am acting in accordance with my true will, dedicated to the practical establishment of Thelema in the world. I have no present alliances, nor do I contemplate any save in a purely ritual sense, for some time. For the time being my magical partners consist of those that can be purchased or otherwise easily picked up and disposed of. I have no further time for serious involvement with anyone who is not in accord with my Will.

A charge you as a brother to regard this entire communication as strictly confidential, and preferably to destroy this letter. I do not want anyone besides yourself to know the details of my present condition or recent history – my time is not yet. I have written you because I sensed your kindly interest as a brother, – because you first initiated me into the most holy and glorious sanctuary of True Magick – so that you might know the reasons for my present state and plans.

My best wishes for your success, and (what is the same thing) for the accomplishment of the holy Law of Thelema, to which we are both dedicated.

Love is the law, love under will. Fraternally

210

1 Jun 1949 – Book payments

1 June 49

Care Frater Saturnus.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
It is quite possible that Roy picked up one of the last two copies of the Tarot which I received. I am under the impression that he took several copies of The Equinox of the Gods which I had paid for. However, almost anything might have happened at that time and I been non the wiser. I have three volumes from 666 of the Commentary on the Book of the Law, but was under the impression that these were to be revised, with an introduction from Wilkinson. In any event I am willing to follow your advice in this matter, as I have said.
Am I correct in assuming that I owe you 175 dollars? I will mail a cheque for 25 dollars June 11, and on the second Saturday of each month thereafter, until the debt is paid.

Love is the law, love under will. Fraternally

210.

11 May 1943 – Finances, Leadership of Agape Lodge

1003 S. Orange Grove ave
Pasadena, Cal.
May 11, 1943

Dear Brother Germer,
93,

Enclosed find $75 for this month’s contributions. I have been late in arranging this month’s finances, hence the delay.
Have been working night and day, and am taking a breathing spell to write in haste. Wilfred, Helen and the baby have left for the ranch. There is much clearing of the atmosphere, and a happier spirit. Am working on four new prospects.

Fredric has been informing all and sundry (by implication) that he is a far superior man to run the Lodge. Something went to his head, He is entirely objective in regard to everything that does not affect him, and completely subjective in regard to everything that does. I am a little amused, since he has given less in efforts or contribution than anyone now present. However, he has his good points and his uses. If I can only keep him from boring people. I am enclosing part of a letter which I started last week, which takes up some details. This is all I can write at present. Will let you know of developments.

93 93/93

P.S. Helen is still Treasurer of the Church of Thelema. If I send my donations through the church, I can benefit in income tax. This will be quite a saving, I would like your advice. I should think that the Church of Thelema would be brought under the Jurisdiction of the Order, or else that the Order should be incorporated here and the Church disbanded. I do not like the idea of separate organization handling our finances. I should like to handle finances directly here. The Church is now practically inoperative. However the religious liberty angle should also be considered.

J.

I know what you mean when you say you are over-burdened. I am in the same situation. In a way I like it, but it results in inefficiency. You simply cannot hold down 24 stops with 10 fingers. But its fun trying.

I misworded my last letter in regard to Wilfred’s position. What I was thinking was that Jane could not accept the responsibility of the position, and I did not have the authority to do so.
Your appointment makes my present position quite clear, and I will make every effort to justify your confidence.

Wilfred has an entirely changed attitude in regard to yourself and Baphomet. He sees the necessity of leaving and is, in fact, anxious to go. There is a great improvement in the general atmosphere, and I am much encouraged and hopeful for the future.

Recently Brother Culling offered Wilfred the facilities of his ranch, a small place near San Diego. He can occupy it after may 7, next week. I believe this would be an excellent arrangement.

Personally, I do not believe that he should get a job, unless it were something extraordinary. He is perfectly capable of establishing another routine, and driving down the rut of an ordinary job from now till doomsday. His great difficulty is that his drive controls him and paralyses his higher faculties, rather than he controlling the drive. He must somehow break the rationalizing that leads him ever to the same cul-de-sac.

His small stature and unhappy childhood have produced in him the automatic reflexed of defenses and negative aggression. He takes refuge in a petty routine in which he can find some relief from the torment of his mind, and at least pretend that he is doing something effectively. All this is only a cloud over his tremendous devotion and real ability. When it is removed, he will really shine. He now realizes some of this, and that is half the battle.

If he took an ordinary job, he would come to work late, put his feet on the desk, and slap the boss on the back, He should strike up acquaintances in bars, hire halls and give lectures, stand on his head in public, anything to get over his lack of confidence and dear of people.

But that will take readjustment, and I think a period at the ranch with his new point of view and vital intention to really accomplish something, is the best start. I will, of course, want your opinion on this.

In regard to the brethren who qualified the pledge, I think some time on my part and a word from you will change their point of view. Let me know when you write.

Forman has spoken often you, he says that he sees things more clearly since his visit, I can understand this.
I wish you were here, and I hope you are right in your hunch that A.C. will come over soon. If I could only see him once. Otherwise I may try to arrange my business so that I can get to England late this year.


I should like your advice as to how I might arrange my insurance and will so that the Order would benefit to best advantage. I am not clear on this. We are not incorporated in this country, and the world future seems very uncertain.
I have been seriously considering asking Brother Max to visit here and possibly attend Lodge. What is your opinion?