11 May 1943 – Finances, Leadership of Agape Lodge

1003 S. Orange Grove ave
Pasadena, Cal.
May 11, 1943

Dear Brother Germer,
93,

Enclosed find $75 for this month’s contributions. I have been late in arranging this month’s finances, hence the delay.
Have been working night and day, and am taking a breathing spell to write in haste. Wilfred, Helen and the baby have left for the ranch. There is much clearing of the atmosphere, and a happier spirit. Am working on four new prospects.

Fredric has been informing all and sundry (by implication) that he is a far superior man to run the Lodge. Something went to his head, He is entirely objective in regard to everything that does not affect him, and completely subjective in regard to everything that does. I am a little amused, since he has given less in efforts or contribution than anyone now present. However, he has his good points and his uses. If I can only keep him from boring people. I am enclosing part of a letter which I started last week, which takes up some details. This is all I can write at present. Will let you know of developments.

93 93/93

P.S. Helen is still Treasurer of the Church of Thelema. If I send my donations through the church, I can benefit in income tax. This will be quite a saving, I would like your advice. I should think that the Church of Thelema would be brought under the Jurisdiction of the Order, or else that the Order should be incorporated here and the Church disbanded. I do not like the idea of separate organization handling our finances. I should like to handle finances directly here. The Church is now practically inoperative. However the religious liberty angle should also be considered.

J.

I know what you mean when you say you are over-burdened. I am in the same situation. In a way I like it, but it results in inefficiency. You simply cannot hold down 24 stops with 10 fingers. But its fun trying.

I misworded my last letter in regard to Wilfred’s position. What I was thinking was that Jane could not accept the responsibility of the position, and I did not have the authority to do so.
Your appointment makes my present position quite clear, and I will make every effort to justify your confidence.

Wilfred has an entirely changed attitude in regard to yourself and Baphomet. He sees the necessity of leaving and is, in fact, anxious to go. There is a great improvement in the general atmosphere, and I am much encouraged and hopeful for the future.

Recently Brother Culling offered Wilfred the facilities of his ranch, a small place near San Diego. He can occupy it after may 7, next week. I believe this would be an excellent arrangement.

Personally, I do not believe that he should get a job, unless it were something extraordinary. He is perfectly capable of establishing another routine, and driving down the rut of an ordinary job from now till doomsday. His great difficulty is that his drive controls him and paralyses his higher faculties, rather than he controlling the drive. He must somehow break the rationalizing that leads him ever to the same cul-de-sac.

His small stature and unhappy childhood have produced in him the automatic reflexed of defenses and negative aggression. He takes refuge in a petty routine in which he can find some relief from the torment of his mind, and at least pretend that he is doing something effectively. All this is only a cloud over his tremendous devotion and real ability. When it is removed, he will really shine. He now realizes some of this, and that is half the battle.

If he took an ordinary job, he would come to work late, put his feet on the desk, and slap the boss on the back, He should strike up acquaintances in bars, hire halls and give lectures, stand on his head in public, anything to get over his lack of confidence and dear of people.

But that will take readjustment, and I think a period at the ranch with his new point of view and vital intention to really accomplish something, is the best start. I will, of course, want your opinion on this.

In regard to the brethren who qualified the pledge, I think some time on my part and a word from you will change their point of view. Let me know when you write.

Forman has spoken often you, he says that he sees things more clearly since his visit, I can understand this.
I wish you were here, and I hope you are right in your hunch that A.C. will come over soon. If I could only see him once. Otherwise I may try to arrange my business so that I can get to England late this year.


I should like your advice as to how I might arrange my insurance and will so that the Order would benefit to best advantage. I am not clear on this. We are not incorporated in this country, and the world future seems very uncertain.
I have been seriously considering asking Brother Max to visit here and possibly attend Lodge. What is your opinion?

 

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